A wave function walks into a bar and collapses. He looks up angrily at the bartender and screams "What the hell are you looking at?"
Heisenberg gets pulled over by a cop one night. The cop asks him "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?". Heisenberg looks at the cop and says "No, officer, but I can tell you exactly where I am at!"
You might be a chemist if you wash your hands before going to the bathroom.
You might be a physicist if you assume a horse is a sphere to simplify calculations.
You might be an astrophysicist if you assume that pi is just about 3.
Paraphrased and collected by W Doug Bolden. Generally written or spoken by someone else.
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"The hidden is greater than the seen."