W. Doug Bolden

Science Jokes

My Favorite Physics Jokes

A wave function walks into a bar and collapses. He looks up angrily at the bartender and screams "What the hell are you looking at?"

Heisenberg gets pulled over by a cop one night. The cop asks him "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?". Heisenberg looks at the cop and says "No, officer, but I can tell you exactly where I am at!"

My Favorite Chemistry Joke

You might be a chemist if you wash your hands before going to the bathroom.

Other Physics Jokes

You might be a physicist if you assume a horse is a sphere to simplify calculations.

You might be an astrophysicist if you assume that pi is just about 3.

Paraphrased and collected by W Doug Bolden. Generally written or spoken by someone else.

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